I remember.

When I remember things, I remember them in details.

I remember back when I was 12, me and primary school friend Yen Ting promised that we're going to watch the World Cup together when we're 21. I was upset on something, and she asked me through a small notes (纸条) and she comforted me until I was okay again. I was happy so I told her we're going to remain friends and watch the World Cup together in 2012. Well, we're still friends, Facebook friends who don't talk anymore. I doubt if she even remembers this :)

My morning duty as a prefect in primary school was to look after junior class 3K, with my partner, Voon Voon. Voon was a short girl with short hair, ALSO my dancing partner. We were pretty close, depite we weren't in the same class together. She was in 6H, I was in 6K. We were close because of dance club, bitching about our coach. One day she was sacked as a prefect because she couldn't cope with her studies (since UPSR was approaching), she came to 3K one morning, without her prefect necktie and told that she was sacked. I remember we laughed at first and then cried together as I hugged her. No, I don't know where she is now :) I can't even find her on Facebook. But if I found that little brat I'm gonna squeeeeeeezzzzeee her until she's unconcious. Miss you, Voon Voon. Had a really great time back then dancing with you and the other girls, Emma, Pei Tong and her addiction to our school canteen Tom Yam Maggi cup. XD

17th May 2003. I won district level speech contest. When I got to the state level, I was deducted 1 point from my total mark for  exceeding 5 minutes in my speech (I took 5 mins 3 secs to finish). It was a very tight competition that draaaaaaaaaaaaagggged me to 6th place. I could've be in the 4th if there weren't any deduction. So Julius, who was on the 2nd place during district level, came 4th during the state level. I wanted to cry but there were teachers all around me. And so I met him again in Kian Kok, and there were interclass speech competition, I  wasn't going to take part at first, but when I heard he was going to take part as well, I put my name in. Yes I did that out of revenge. But he withdrew on the last minute of the competition. I confronted him at the school hallway and he said: "Saya bagi kau menang bah tu." and walked away. Yes I won, but I wanted to stab him. Really, I wanted to stab him.

I remember first day of kindergarten. Erica Olivia, my first friend. She was wearing a Tweety bird shirt. I remember her being a very very sweet girl back then, even until now :)

I remember being called kambing in the school bus back in primary 3 by the form 1 boys of Bahang, because I always tie my hair in two ponytails. Oh did I mentioned one of the boys had a huge crush on my sister? LOL.

I remember jumping line for BCG injection in primary one because I wanted to show people how brave I was. Sakit lah. Gila.

I remember writing down 20++ book titles in one day in my NILAM and the teacher called me and she was like HOW IS IT POSSIBLE? Then she picked a book from the list and asked me to retell the story. So I told her the whole story lah :)

I remember my first love letter (he gave his picture together with the letter LOLOLOLL). 8 year-old. Yeah, that early. LOL. I didn't know where to put that stuff, I didn't wanna throw away because I afraid people might going to dig le dustbin and found out shit, I didn't even want to take it out at home because the homies might found out and read it. So I kept it in my bag. Until they said one of the teacher searched through our bags when we were out for Pendidikan Islam class. No I didn't remember being busted. I think I gave him back his photo. I don't know man. We were close as friends so I think he misinterpreted my kindness, I guess. I don't know.

But yeah, we're still friends until now. LOL.

I remember my first crush as well. Yes we're still friends. Girls, shut up please.

25th April 2003. The nurses have to drew blood from me 3 times because they couldn't find my vein. Cried on the school staircase alone.

You see. There are a lot more to write, because the capacity of my memory is just... huge? I even remember dates. What more people, stuff and things I did together with people. Of course, it's a gift. But most of the time, it aches. Everyday, the brain chooses to retrieve all the details you wanted to forget. Ironically, I always forget my grocery list. I'm not saying that I remember everything, but, like I said, when I remember things, I remember them in details.

Just be careful with the girl who doesn't talk much because she notices, and remembers everything.

The Project

http://thetalkingsnail.deviantart.com/gallery/37319729

Sept 2009 - May 2012

The final presentation was epic. It went... unexpectedly well. I seriously didn't expect they would really like it. Of course, I did get some critics but Alhamdulillah, I get all positive comments when it comes to my artworks/illustrations. Well I still couldn't believe it, really? U serious bro?

I salute every single one of you who completed 2009/2010 matriculation and currently in your second year pursuing degree.

But I'm glad I got out of Matriculation to do this, although I'll be getting my degree much later (or I won't be having degree at all, wallahualam).

Thank You God for taking away my dream to become a lawyer but later rewards with something even better for me. Indeed, You knew what's the best for everyone.

What comes next you ask? I wanna get married. :)

I kid, I kid XD

I'll be pursuing my degree in art, of course, studying will still be my priority, insya Allah. Or if I wasn't destined to get a degree, or God put my degree on hold, I'll be working, of course :) To be honest, I kind of want to work in a new environment so I can learn more and moooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeee new things, meet some new people and experience different cultures. Where? That shall be a secret first. ;)

I know it's still too early to be happy but I am happy lol. I mean I'll face a lot more difficult stuff in the future, maybe even worse than the worst I've been through - as my lecturer said, the real things are still too far. Perhaps I'll hit the bottom low again, even further below... to the point of regretting.

But at least, I'll honour my own, bold decision I made on my teen, to fight for what I want, when most of the kids of my age chose to go with the flow and ended up blaming themselves (or anyone) for not fighting for what they really want to do in the first place.

You may say I exaggerate stuff, dude, it's just a diploma... in graphic design. That's liek so eaaaazzy. Say what you want honey. I don't think I need to explain my struggle dealing with insults, people look down on me for giving up to do something 'easy' like graphic design, personal stuff, financial bla bla bla along this 2 years and 8 months journey. It's not just the diploma, it's the everyday experience that taught me a lot, which worth more than 24K. And the wrong turns I made, didn't break me, in fact they shape me into a better person.

And so they say every ending marks a whole new beginning. 

I don't know what lies ahead, but I am positive. :)

Bring it on! :D